Originally written July 21, 2026
I haven’t slept. I did manage to feed myself, but nothing feels real today.
I’ve spent hours on the phone, and everyone means well. I know they do, and I love them for it. But I don’t know how to live my life as anything other than a caregiver anymore. I know that’s going to take time.
I’ll continue to build my business and go through the motions of life, but I’m not me right now.
I’m not the same person I was six years ago, and I’m not the same person I’ve been for the past six years either.
Being a caregiver changes you in so many ways. It becomes part of your identity. Your days, your routines, your decisions and so much of your life begin to revolve around taking care of someone else. And when that suddenly ends, you’re left trying to figure out who you are without it.
Now I have to rebuild myself, so to speak.
And I don’t know how to do that just yet.
All I know right now is that I want my mommy.
And she’s not here.