August 26, 2026

I don’t usually write my updates this early.

Usually, I wait until the end of the day when I can process what happened, collect my thoughts and figure out what the hell I actually want to say.

Not today.

Because apparently 2026 decided that losing one icon wasn’t enough.

Less than 24 hours after mourning the loss of another legend, we lost Tim Curry.

Seriously.

2026, what the fuck?

Tim Curry was an absolute icon. His career spanned decades, but for so many people, especially within the LGBTQIA+ community, he represented something bigger than just an actor. His portrayal of Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show became a symbol of being unapologetically yourself, embracing individuality and challenging the idea that everyone has to fit neatly into a box.

He was campy. He was brilliant. He was fearless.

He was Tim fucking Curry.

And now he’s gone.

Yesterday it was Dolly Parton.

Today it’s Tim Curry.

Two people who brought so much joy, creativity and representation into the world.

Two people who made people feel seen.

And honestly?

I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth for this.

Maybe that sounds dramatic, but I’m already living through one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I’m already trying to understand how a world exists without my mom and dad in it. I’m already trying to navigate this strange new reality where people who felt permanent suddenly aren’t here anymore.

And then the world turns around and says, “Hey, here’s another person you grew up admiring who is gone.”

No.

I’m good.

I would like a fucking break.

Today Is Just a Sad Day

I don’t really have a productive update today.

I don’t have some big accomplishment to share.

I don’t have a funny Beaker story.

I don’t have a shop update.

I don’t have some inspirational moment where I tell you how I pushed through and conquered the day.

Today, I just want to be sad.

And maybe that’s okay.

I’ve spent the last month learning that grief doesn’t always need to be productive. Sometimes you don’t need to turn every emotion into a lesson. Sometimes you don’t need to find the silver lining.

Sometimes something just hurts.

And you let it hurt.

This week started off rough. Between everything I still have to handle with Mom’s estate, my own health worries, the constant emotional exhaustion and now losing more people who brought joy into my life from afar, I’m just tired.

I have zero drive today.

Zero motivation.

I want to be left alone for a little while.

I want to sit with the sadness.

I want to acknowledge that sometimes the world just feels incredibly heavy.

And today is one of those days.

The Weird Thing About Loss

I think one of the hardest things about losing people is realizing how many people you carry with you.

My mom and dad weren’t just my parents.

They were part of every memory.

Every holiday.

Every story.

Every little piece of my life.

And then there are people like Dolly and Tim Curry, people I’ve never met, but who still somehow became part of the soundtrack of my life.

They existed in the background of my childhood.

They made me laugh.

They inspired creativity.

They gave people permission to be themselves.

They were part of the world I grew up in.

And now that world feels like it’s losing pieces of itself.

Maybe that’s why these losses hit differently right now.

Maybe grief has made me more aware of every goodbye.

Maybe when you’ve already lost so much, every additional loss feels heavier.

I don’t know.

I’m tired.

I’m sad.

And today, I don’t really have a better explanation than that.

Maybe I’ll Do Something Later

It’s still early.

I may still run the errands I need to run today.

I may still accomplish something.

Or maybe I won’t.

Maybe today is just a day where I acknowledge that I’m struggling and give myself permission to not be okay.

That’s something I’m still learning.

For so long, I was the person who handled things.

The person who figured it out.

The person who showed up.

But sometimes showing up for yourself means admitting that you don’t have it in you today.

So today, I’m going to be sad.

I’m going to remember the people we’ve lost.

I’m going to appreciate the joy they brought into the world.

And I’m going to hope that somewhere, somehow, my mom and dad are having the most incredible conversations with all these amazing people who left their mark on the world.

Maybe Mom is telling Dolly how much she loved her music.

Maybe Dad is laughing about something ridiculous Tim Curry said.

I don’t know.

But I like to think they aren’t alone.

And honestly?

After everything this year has taken from me, I need to believe there is still some magic left somewhere.

Today sucks.

That’s the update.

Sometimes that’s enough.Maybe