September 2, 2026

The reason today’s blog is so late is actually a pretty good one.

I’ve been busy.

I’ve been spending most of the day trying to put my office back together. I’m sorting through boxes, pulling out collectibles, figuring out where things belong and generally trying to make the space feel like mine again. I finally took down my door, which has opened up a ridiculous amount of room. It’s amazing how much bigger the office feels now that I can actually use that space properly.

I’m making progress.

It’s slow, but it’s happening.

I also took Beaker to get his monthly manicure this morning. Neither one of us particularly enjoyed being outside because Mother Nature apparently forgot that it is September and decided it needed to be Satan’s ass crack hot again.

Seriously.

It’s September.

Please stop.

I brought Beaker home, then headed to therapy. That was good, as always. I came home afterward and went right back to working on the office.

Somewhere along the way, though, I got sucked into some fandom drama.

And holy shit.

Here we go again.

Characters Are Not People

I normally don’t comment on fandom drama anymore because I’m too old and too tired for that shit.

But sometimes I see something that genuinely pisses me off.

There is an enormous difference between disliking a fictional character and mistreating the real person who plays them.

You don’t like the character?

Fine.

You hate the storyline?

Fine.

You think the writers made a terrible decision?

Welcome to fandom.

Talk about it. Debate it. Complain about it. Write your angry essays. Make memes. Scream into the internet void. That’s part of the fun.

But threatening an actor because you don’t like the character they play or the storyline they’re involved in?

That’s fucking asinine.

Actors are people. Real human beings with real personalities, real feelings and real lives. Characters are fictional. They are part of a storyline created to entertain us. There is a huge fucking difference.

And sometimes the reason we hate a character so much is because the actor playing them is really fucking good at their job.

If you’re absolutely furious at a fictional character, that’s probably a compliment to the person portraying them.

You can hate the character.

You can hate what the writers are doing.

You can even turn off the show and never watch it again.

What you don’t get to do is cross the line into harassing or threatening the person who went to work and did their job.

That line should be incredibly fucking obvious.

And yet here we are.

Social Media Changed Everything

I think part of why this bothers me so much is because social media became a huge part of my connection to the outside world while I was caring for my parents.

Over the last six years, I lost a huge part of myself to caregiving.

My world became very small.

There were doctors and appointments and medications and caregiving responsibilities and everything else that comes with spending years taking care of the people you love.

Social media gave me a window back into the world.

It let me talk to people.

It let me create.

It let me laugh.

It let me participate in fandoms and communities.

It gave me somewhere to go when the walls of my house felt like they were closing in.

Social media has never been the end-all, be-all of my life, but it became an important connection to the outside world.

And I’ve watched it change over the years.

People have gotten incredibly fucking bold.

The things some people say to complete strangers now are absolutely wild.

And parasocial relationships?

Man.

They’re weird as fucking hell.

There’s nothing wrong with loving an actor’s work. There’s nothing wrong with being excited when they post. There’s nothing wrong with interacting with them online. Hell, sometimes that’s one of the coolest things about social media.

But there is a difference between interaction and ownership.

An actor doesn’t owe you a particular personality because you like their character.

They don’t owe you agreement.

They don’t owe you access.

They don’t owe you the version of themselves that you created in your head.

And they certainly don’t deserve to be threatened because they played a fictional person you hate.

They’re doing a job.

That’s it.

And honestly, I worry that if this shit keeps happening, we’re going to lose something really cool.

Actors are going to stop interacting with fans.

Creators are going to stop sharing pieces of themselves.

People are going to become afraid to engage with the communities that helped make their careers possible.

And then everybody loses.

The fans lose.

The actors lose.

The fandom loses.

So please, for the love of everything holy, learn the difference between fiction and reality.

Enjoy your fandom.

Argue about the storyline.

Hate the character.

Love the character.

Write the fanfiction.

Make the memes.

Have fun.

But leave the fucking actors alone.

They’re people.

They’re just doing their jobs.

And Back to Reality

It’s almost midnight now, and I have a big meeting with my estate attorney tomorrow.

There is still so much left to do.

More paperwork.

More decisions.

More things I don’t particularly want to think about.

And there are still two things I haven’t been able to bring myself to do.

I haven’t gone back to my parents’ house.

And I haven’t gone to the cemetery.

I know eventually I’ll have to.

But I’m not ready.

I don’t want to go to either place and have the reality of it hit me all over again.

Their house reminds me that they’re gone.

The cemetery reminds me that they’re gone.

And right now, I don’t need another reminder.

Maybe that sounds strange.

Maybe some people would find comfort in going.

I don’t.

Not yet.

I spent the last six years taking care of them. I spent the last month taking care of everything that comes after losing them.

I’m allowed to decide when I’m ready to walk into those places.

So for now, I’m going to keep working on my office.

I’m going to keep sorting boxes.

I’m going to keep pulling out my ridiculous collection of collectibles and figuring out where the hell I’m going to put all of it.

I’m going to keep building my shop back up.

I’m going to keep writing.

I’m going to keep showing up when I can and hiding under the covers when I can’t.

And eventually, I’ll go to the house.

Eventually, I’ll go to the cemetery.

Eventually, I’ll figure out what comes next.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I’m tired.

It’s almost midnight.

I have an attorney meeting tomorrow.

And apparently I have spent my evening being angry at people on the internet while simultaneously organizing collectibles.

Honestly?

That sounds about right.

I’m going to bed.

Toodaloo.