Take It Easy October

Take It Easy October

October 22, 2026

Tuesday was three months.

Three months since I lost my mom.

Three months have passed since the world stopped turning, but somehow still managed to keep going.

I didn’t forget.

I just didn’t have it in me to write about it.

And then, because apparently life needed to add a little more chaos to the mix, Beaker got hurt.

He’s okay. I’m okay. But I spent the afternoon at the vet, and somewhere in the process of lifting the old man into the car, I managed to hurt my back.

So here I am.

Pretty much bedridden ever since.

Today is actually the first day I’ve been able to move around for more than just getting up to use the bathroom. My back is still angry with me, but at least I’m moving again. Beaker’s eye is also feeling much better, so thankfully we’re both on the mend.

I did cancel therapy today.

I almost never do that.

But I just couldn’t bring myself to drive myself there, and honestly, I didn’t feel like sitting somewhere for an hour being uncomfortable while my back was screaming at me.

I’ll go next week.

I’m not giving up on therapy.

I just needed a damn day.

Take It Easy October

I did manage to get myself up yesterday and today to make my Halloween projects.

I kept both of them simple and quick.

And honestly, that has pretty much been the theme of October.

Take It Easy October.

I had all these plans for 31 Days of Halloween this year, and while I’ve still managed to keep it going, it hasn’t been the same as last year.

This year has been about doing what I can.

Some days that means making something elaborate.

Some days it means making something simple.

And some days it means dragging myself out of bed long enough to make the damn thing and then crawling right back under the covers.

But I’m still doing it.

Somehow.

I don’t even know how I made it through this week.

But I did.

Tomorrow is Friday.

And that means another shop update.

Friday’s Drop

Tomorrow’s drop is happening, but it’s been scaled back quite a bit.

I had planned on doing more, but between being sick, the fibro flare, the depression, my back and now Beaker’s little adventure at the vet, I just don’t have the energy for a huge release.

So I’m not going to pretend I do.

There will be new things going into the shop tomorrow, but it’s going to be a smaller update.

And that’s okay.

FRDCreations isn’t going anywhere.

I don’t have to prove anything by running myself into the ground.

I’m learning that.

Slowly.

Very fucking slowly.

I’ve Noticed Something

I’ve also noticed that fewer and fewer people are checking in on me.

I know everyone has their own lives.

I know people get busy.

I know three months have passed and, from the outside, it probably looks like I should be doing better.

But grief doesn’t work on a three-month schedule.

And depression doesn’t care how long it’s been.

There are days when I desperately want someone to ask how I’m doing.

And there are days when I don’t want anyone to talk to me at all.

That makes me complicated.

I know that.

But I also think people sometimes assume that because you’re functioning, you’re okay.

I’ve been working on my business.

I’m making Halloween projects.

I’m posting.

I’m photographing inventory.

I’m doing paperwork.

I’m taking care of Beaker.

I’m getting out of bed when I can.

From the outside, it probably looks like I’m moving forward.

And I am.

But moving forward doesn’t mean I’m not still fucking miserable sometimes.

I miss my mom.

I miss my dad.

I miss Spencer.

I miss the life I had before all of this.

And there are days when the depression feels like it has physically attached itself to me.

Like I’m carrying around a weight that nobody else can see.

I’ve gotten pretty good at functioning underneath it.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

I Don’t Even Know Why I’m Writing This

Maybe I’m writing because I miss my mom.

Maybe I’m writing because I’m still processing three months.

Maybe I’m writing because I’m delirious from pain and being stuck in bed for days has left me with nothing but my own thoughts.

I honestly don’t know.

I just know that sometimes I need to put the words somewhere.

That’s what this blog has become for me.

A place where I don’t have to pretend.

I can say I’m having a shitty day.

I can say I’m angry.

I can say I miss my mother so much that it physically hurts.

I can talk about my business.

I can talk about my dog being a dickhead.

I can make Halloween jewelry.

I can talk about depression.

I can talk about whatever the hell is happening inside my head that day.

And maybe that’s the point.

I’m still here.

Even when I’m in bed.

Even when I’m not answering the phone.

Even when I’m not going to therapy.

Even when I’m not doing everything I planned.

I’m still here.

Three months have passed.

The world kept turning.

I kept breathing.

And somehow, despite everything, I kept going too.

Tomorrow I’ll put some new things in the shop.

I’ll make another Halloween project.

I’ll probably complain about my back.

And I’ll keep taking it easy.

Because apparently that’s what October is teaching me.

I don’t have to do everything.

I just have to keep going.

One day.

One project.

One stupid little step at a time.

Anyway.

Happy Friday Eve.

I’ll see you tomorrow.