Originally written August 2, 2026

Today’s update.

The funny thing about grief is that you never really know when it’s going to knock the wind out of you. But today, I expected it.

I woke up and cried. I managed to feed myself, take my meds, feed Beaker and let him outside.

Then I spent most of the day lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I cried some more.

Eventually, I decided I didn’t want to lose the entire day to staring at the ceiling, so I got myself up and moved the new 3D printer I bought last year downstairs. I guess it’s not exactly new anymore, considering I’ve had it for a year, but it’s finally unboxed and ready to use.

Now I’m labeling some new artwork that will eventually make its way into my shop.

It isn’t much, but I did something.

Yesterday, I said goodbye to my mom. There were things to do leading up to it. Arrangements to make. Photos to sort. A dress to bring to the funeral home. A funeral Mass to plan.

And now all of that is over.

Now there’s just this strange quiet afterward.

I’ll probably go back to lying in bed and staring at the ceiling soon.

Today sucks.

And I think I’m allowed to let it suck.