September 7, 2026
Today was a heavy pain day.
That usually happens after I have a big day, and yesterday definitely counted as a big day. Going to the cemetery and seeing my parents was emotionally important, but apparently my body decided that today was the bill coming due.
So I spent a lot of the day hurting and taking it easy.
But the day wasn’t a total loss.
I did get some more work done in the office, and I also posted two new listings in the shop. That might not sound like a ton, but considering how I felt today, I’m counting it.
I also made myself leave the house for a little while and took Blue Belle out for a joy ride.
She needed to be driven anyway so the battery doesn’t decide to give up on me, and honestly, getting out for a little ride wasn’t a bad thing. Nothing dramatic. No big destination. Just me, the car and a reason to get out of the house for a bit.
Sometimes that’s enough.
Most of the rest of the day was spent researching ideas for the next phase of my office displays.
Specifically, my lighter collection and my Funkos.
I have a lot of collections.
Like… a lot.
I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
But I’m proud of them.
A lot of these things have been collected over years. Some are random. Some are sentimental. Some are tied to shows or movies or people I love. Some are just weird little things that made me happy enough that I wanted to keep them.
And now that I’m finally getting the office back into shape, I’m getting to actually display them instead of leaving everything packed away in boxes.
That’s probably the part that’s bringing me the most joy right now.
I’m starting to see the room come together.
The shelves are going up. The collectibles are coming out. Things are starting to have actual homes instead of living in containers stacked somewhere waiting for “someday.”
Apparently someday is finally happening.
There is something really satisfying about walking into the office now and seeing pieces of myself everywhere.
Music.
Movies.
TV.
Random memorabilia.
Collectibles.
Things I’ve made.
Things I’ve found.
Things I’ve held onto because they meant something to me.
The room is slowly becoming a giant visual representation of all the weird shit I love.
Honestly?
That’s kind of perfect.
Joy Still Counts
I’ve been writing so much about grief lately that sometimes I forget there are still things that make me genuinely happy.
Today, it was planning displays.
That’s it.
Nothing profound.
I spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about how to display lighters and Funkos, and it made me happy.
I’ll take that.
Because grief doesn’t mean every moment has to be sad.
I can miss my mom and still get excited about finding the perfect shadow box.
I can be in pain and still enjoy arranging a shelf.
I can have a difficult day and still get a little thrill when I finally figure out where something belongs.
I can take Blue Belle out for a drive and enjoy being out of the house for a little while.
Both things can exist at once.
I’m learning that more and more.
There are days where joy shows up in huge ways.
And there are days where joy is me staring at a collection of tiny plastic people and thinking, Oh shit, that would look really cool over there.
Today was one of those days.
Slowly Coming Together
The office still isn’t finished.
There are still boxes to go through, shelves to arrange, things to hang and probably at least twelve moments where I’ll decide I hate something and move it somewhere else.
That’s just how I operate.
But it’s getting there.
And every little section I finish makes me want to work on the next one.
That’s a feeling I’ve missed.
Motivation.
Not pressure.
Not I have to do this.
Actual I want to do this.
That feels different.
So today wasn’t an especially active day.
My body hurt.
I took it slow.
But I worked on the office.
I added two new listings to the shop.
I took Blue Belle out for a ride and got myself out of the house.
I spent way too long researching display ideas for lighters and Funkos.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I realized I was having fun.
That matters.
A lot.
Yesterday gave me some peace.
Today gave me a little joy.
I’ll take both.
Now I’m going to rest because apparently my body would like to remind me that emotional productivity still counts as productivity.
Tomorrow, we’ll see what I feel like doing.
But tonight, I’m going to enjoy the fact that my office is finally starting to look like me.